Long-term, committed relationships succeed when they are built on trust, emotional connection, passion, and, of course, a satisfying sex life. However, even those ingredients may seem evident, guaranteeing they are part of your relationship, and sustained over time is not simple at all. Keep reading to learn about the 777 Rule, and what over 40 years of research show about what makes relationship masters or disasters.

​What the 777 Rule is, why it makes sense, and why it’s not enough

The 777 Rule is a viral relationship framework designed to help people protect intimacy and connection in their long-term relationships. The basic idea is that it invites you to make plans together periodically and overcome the erosion from routine. Here’s how it works:

​Every 7 days, go on a date together

You could go out for dinner, dancing, maybe a cooking class… or even if you decide to stay at home, but make it special: light candles, play music, maybe change the furniture disposition to make the moment different from the usual everyday.

​Every 7 weeks, spend a night away together

Here, Executive Fantasy Hotels is your best ally. Spending a night away together allows for deep intimacy to flourish while introducing variety to your sex life. This, in turn, can help rekindle passion, making it a lot more pleasurable.

​Every 7 months, go on a trip together

This should take more than one night. The point here is to introduce variety on a bigger scale, help you create new memories together, and give you time away from routine so that you can reconnect with one another.

​The 777 Rule makes sense because it invites you to spend uninterrupted quality time together regularly and to make sure you introduce variety. However, you could be sitting in front of the French Riviera holding hands and still be emotionally disconnected. The 777 Rule is a good tool and reminder, but won’t solve your conflicts or repair the relationship when something unfortunate happens.

​What 40 years of research by the Gottman Institute shows is that the strongest predictor of whether a couple will turn into relationship masters or disasters is how often they turn to each other’s bids for connection.

​What is a bid for connection and why is it fundamental for your relationship?

A bid is an attempt from any of the partners to connect with the other through attention, affection, to receive affirmation, or in any other positive way. A bid for connection can be a smile, a light touch of the fingers, an invitation to dance, asking for help or to find something new about your partner, or even something as simple as looking at them when you are sad or in pain and looking for comfort.

​What the Gottman Institute has found consistently over decades is that it is the constant act of bidding to your partner and answering to their bids, however big or small, that builds and strengthens the relationship over time. This is so much the case that the most harmful thing you can do for your relationship is to ignore your partner’s bids; it’s even worse than answering negatively.

​Let’s imagine you try to cuddle with your partner one night. If your partner says they are sorry but the night is too hot and they don’t feel like it at the moment, you understand the reason, and what you can do differently next time. But if you hug them and the reaction you get from them is the same you might get from a log, you are going to feel ignored, and over time you are going to stop trying to connect with them. As you stop trying to connect, all the other basic ingredients that sustain a healthy relationship (trust, emotional connection, passion, and a satisfying sex life) will crumble as well.

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So, the 777 Rule can give you ideas to constantly look for new experiences, date regularly, have getaway nights at Executive, and travel around together, but they will only work if you both identify and answer those attempts to connect. As you get better and better at bidding and answering those gestures, emotional connection and passion will grow between you, and we will always have our doors open for you to express your love and passion freely.